Don't drink and text. Even on the cusp of forty, I had to learn that the hard way. After discovering my best friend, who I was supposed to grow old and single with, got engaged, I drowned my loneliness in one too many Old Fashioneds and woke up with thirty-nine responses from every available man in my phone. Yup, I even texted my plumber...and he turned me down. Apparently, my liquor-infused text said that while I don't need a man, maybe I'd be down...