Dan Gutman

As their cross-country journey with their parents continues through the midwest, twins Coke and Pepsi, now thirteen, again face strange assassins at such places as the first McDonald's restaurant and Cedar Point amusement park.

"Tween twins Coke and Pepsi McDonald have finally reached the last leg of their wacky and dangerous cross-country road trip, but they must fend off a host of strange assassins before they reach their home in California"--

New third grade teacher Mr. Granite has so many strange ideas about how to make Ella Mentary School environmentally friendly that the students are sure he must be an alien.

When a British student-teacher arrives, A.J. and his friends wonder if her all-black clothing and love of blood sausage mark her as a vampire, while Mr. Granite simply hopes her musician-boyfriend will stay away long enough for a math lesson.

A new football coach arrives at school and, with help from an unexpected new team member, the Moose win a game.

With the peculiar Mrs. Kormel at the wheel, anything could happen on the bus ride to Ella Mentry School, as A.J. and his friends find out on the day they have to go out of their way to pick up "the nude kid."

The After School Kids' Care director wants to get into The Guiness Book of World Records, and A.J. and the gang jump in to help him.

When Ella Mentry School is threatened with closure due to budget cuts, A.J.'s new speech teacher, Miss Laney, comes up with a brilliant, if weird, plan to save the day.

As the new computer lab teacher tries to bring Ella Mentry School into the twenty-first century with her peculiar inventions, second-grader A.J. struggles to survive without sugary snacks when Principal Klutz bans junk food.

When the hippie crossing guard, Mr. Louie, puts a love potion in the water fountain before Valentine's Day, everyone at Ella Mentry School falls in love.